This blog post is all about funny dad jokes.
There will always be a special place in our hearts for dad jokes. They remind you how dads make life so much easier. Like when they drop you off at the airport 9 hours before your flight. Or randomly reminds you to check your oil.
Kidding aside, the dads are helpful, they taught us how to make a steak and how to ride a bike. And we’ve all seen those videos of dads saving their little ones, right before they fall off the couch or hurt themselves. So we’d like to celebrate dads by giving you some of the best dad jokes out there.
What are dad jokes?
Dad jokes are those corny, awful, goofy, pointless jokes that a dad makes that makes people laugh for all the wrong reasons. These are light jokes for kids that will make you laugh how bad the joke really is.
Imagine this scenario. You’re at an event with your dad and he starts talking to people and then he starts telling jokes. If the people on the other side of the joke look a little confused and then start laughing awkwardly, then that’s the dad joke experience in a nutshell.
Here are some of the best dad jokes ever! Be sure to use them in some Father’s Day cards or legends. We hope you get a few laughs reading this.
Best Dad Jokes That Are Really Funny
Sometimes the funniest thing about a dad joke is the way dad laughs at the end. So by funny, we mean that dad’s laugh will actually be the funniest part of the joke.
Why do melons have marriages? Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call a pretty door? A-door-able
How does Kanye West like his eggs? On Yeezy.
What do you call a magician without magic? Ian.
I sneezed on my toast. I can’t believe it’s not butter.
What do you call a hilarious group of cows? A laughing stock.
What do you call a body without a nose? Nose person.
What do you call an American bee? A USB key.
How does a computer get drunk? He takes screenshots.
Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed? Because it would blow his cover.
Have you heard of mind control air freshener? It makes perfumes when you think about it.
Have you heard of the guy who invented knock-knock jokes? He won a prize without a bell.
What is the only animal that requires batteries? A mechanical bull.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
I had 4 cans of alphabet soup. Then I think I had the biggest vowel movement ever.
How much did the pirate pay for his earrings? A buccaneer.
What do sprinters eat before the race? Nothing, they are fasting.
Why couldn’t the bike stand on its own? It was two tired.
Have you heard the butter rumor? Well, I’m not going to spill it.
Why did the old man fall into the well? Because he couldn’t see well.
Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it.
What do you call it when two fleas fall in love? A relational plunge.
Why did the smartphone need glasses? Because he lost all his contacts.
What do you call a marathon for pastors? RevRun.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 18 siblings, they didn’t know either.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
What always starts with W and ends with t? What? To correct.
What kind of doctor is Doctor Pepper? A Fizzician.
Why does Waldo wear stripes? It is therefore not spotted.
What did the baby vampire call the father vampire? Papa Cula
I was flying in a plane with my pilot friend. I asked him, “where did you go to flight school?” He replied, “Flight school? I just took a crash course.
Best Corny Dad Jokes
My friend Jack claims he can communicate with animals. Jack and the Beanstalk.
I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. More than 13!
Why is diarrhea hereditary? Because it’s leaking into your jeans.
Which presidents were the greenest? The bushes.
How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
What do you call a penny under the microscope? Magnificent.
What do you call an exploding monkey? A BaBOOM
I always knock on the refrigerator before opening it. Just in case there is a dressing.
What is a fake noodle called? An impasto.
Why do bees have sticky hairs? Because it uses a honeycomb.
What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie? So fishy
Can February March? A: No, but April May.
I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her on it.
Why was the mushroom invited to the role? Because he was a FUN(Gi).
When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
My son watched someone do 50 push-ups. He asked me if I could do that. I said “of course! I could watch someone do 100 push-ups! »
One line dad jokes
How to make a cowgirl fall in love? A tractor.
What is a house where? Address.
How do trees access the Internet? They connect.
What is the best day to cook? fries day
Where does Sylvester Stalone like to hike? The Rocky Mountains.
What is orange and looks like a parrot? Carrot.
My friend has 2 Dobermans named Timex and Rolex. Watch dogs.
John Travolta has tested negative for coronavirus. Turns out it was Saturday night fever.
What do you call a cow on the ground? Ground beef.
How much money does a skunk have? A perfume
My wife wanted to do something expensive, we got gas.
My boss asked me “Why don’t you work?” I said, “Because I didn’t see you coming.”
What do you call a lost wolf? A wolf where.
What smells better than it tastes? A nose.
I told my wife she had to start accepting her mistakes. So she kissed me.
Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
How to get rid of demons? Exorcise a lot.
Which animal should wear a wig? A bald eagle.
Why did the orange lose the race? He ran out of juice.
How do you know if a tree is a dogwood? By its bark.
What did the Janotor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where’s the popcorn?
What do you call a belt with a clock on it? A waste of time.
Dad Joke Puns
Better practice what you preach or you’ll be a Hippo crate.
Always study for your test because you don’t want to be a cheetah.
I grilled the chicken for 2 hours and he still didn’t tell me why he was crossing the road.
I once got kicked out of a canned juice factory because I couldn’t concentrate.
My doctor told me I was going deaf. The news was hard to hear.
Now that winter is over, I have spring rolls.
Someone tried to sell me a coffin today. I said that was the last thing I needed.
It takes courage to make sausages.
It takes courage to be an organ donor.
How does a moon cut her hair? Eclipse it.
Why is black written with a “K” and not a “C?” Because you can’t see in the dark.
Why did the mother clam have to teach her children? Because they were selfish.
Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was exceptional in his field.
I was recently caught in a burglary at an Apple Store. I guess you can call me an iWitness.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
I have a horse called Mayo. Sometimes Mayo Neighbors.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What did the policeman say to his navel? You are under a vest!
What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear.
Just got back from the ravioli convention. Boyaredees tired arms.
I gave my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know
Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter instead.
If the pope were to bless an avocado, would that make it holy guacamole?
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This blog post was all about dad jokes.